How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
