he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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