I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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