hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
