her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize