i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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