do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
