So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
