But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off