oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
That was before I lit my hair on fire