My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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