Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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