Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize
