Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
