So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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