Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
