you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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