i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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