I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booty called her while she was in labor.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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