AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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