I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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