omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
