he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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