everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
