Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
