he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
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