Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
