Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
