my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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