My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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