i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
