I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize