is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
