even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
