What a fucking waste of an outfit
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Maybe he injected his testicle?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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