I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
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i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
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I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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