I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
