I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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