So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose parrot is this?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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