dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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