Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
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My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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