I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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