I accidentally had phone sex last night
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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