And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
