guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
