Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
