the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
