How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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