It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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