and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
