I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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