If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
