She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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