He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You are the jesus of drinking
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
