So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
