You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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