who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Sponge bath it is.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
