she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
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I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
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don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Randomize